The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to very difficult to resist. Then, click now after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay males want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This blog here indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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