The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't why not try this out "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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